Keep Moving Forward

The last two years have been rough, so I'm glad as hell that 2018 is here. I'm ready to get going.

When you go through a traumatic life event (for example - breast cancer), you're always glad to come out the other side in any kind of state that is still moving. I've found myself saying a lot that "I'm ready to get back to my life". In my head I suppose this started out meaning that I was ready to get back to doing what I had been doing before my cancer diagnosis and subsequent trip through hell.

When I really think about it, though, I don't want to go back to that life. I've learned a lot since then, and grown as a person. So what I really should be saying is this - I'm ready to get on with my life. I can't forget what I've just gone though - I'm reminded every moment of every day - but I can use it to be stronger, more aware, and more joyful. So that's what I'm going to try to do.

Part of this initiative is to set some goals for myself. Recently I've joined an initiative called the #REALwomenmove Challenge by Skirt Sports. #REALwomenmove is about acceptance, challenge, and reaching our full potential. When I read about it, I thought, "This is me. This is what I need."

I've been beating myself up for as long as I can remember - not thin enough, not fit enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough. It's only gotten worse in the past two years as the one thing that has always kept me sane, my ability to move, was taken away from me. Even though the cancer wasn't my fault, I felt bad that I had "lost ground" in my grasping for perfection. Ridiculously, losing my hair and gaining weight overshadowed the fact that I kicked cancer's ass.

So #REALwomenmove is my way of moving on. It's about accepting where I am in my fitness and challenging myself to move forward despite my physical challenges. It's about accepting my body for all the strength that it holds and letting go of what others (and even myself) think I "should" look like. It's about using fitness and strength to help me define what I want my life to be. The "REAL" part also acknowledges that not everything is happy and full of cupcakes. REAL women have setbacks. REAL women get down. REAL women cry and swear and jump up and down. But REAL women keep moving. If you don't keep moving, you stay right in the middle of where you are and you never feel the exhilaration of succeeding or mastering or overcoming or discovering.

And I feel most alive when I am discovering new things about myself. I feel alive when I teach. I feel alive when I hike. I feel alive when I challenge my own assumptions. That's what it's all about, right? Discovering new ways to learn, laugh, and take in the beauty of the world around us.

Soooo.....as part of the #REALwomenmove Challenge, I'm supposed to pick a founding principle or mantra. Mine's pretty simple....it's kept me going for the last couple years:

I've worn an arrow around my neck to remind me of this mantra. Arrows only fly forward. If you pull them back, they fly farther.

So here are my my goals for the year:

1. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself.
2. Be aware of when fear is taking over - it's ok if it does, but when you're aware of it, you can choose how you deal with it.
3. Learn to love your body. Don't be ashamed of it or angry at it. It's gotten you through a lot. Stop comparing!
4. Get back into a fitness routine - move at least 5x a week.
5. Read more. Less TV.
6. Learn how to change a tire on your bicycle.....then get riding!
7. Run a half marathon - Rock and Roll Denver
8. Lose 1 pound a month - eat well and move more to do this
9. Participate in at least 2 sprint triathlons - Outdoor Divas, Tri for the Cure
10. More quality time with husband - doing stuff, not TV time
11. Get outside more - soak in the sun, enjoy living in the mountains. Look at the mountains more!
12. Daily yoga practice to strengthen my core - get rid of that nagging back pain!
13. Start writing again - blog! (hey, good start, huh?)
14. Spend more time with people I love
15. Laugh more

Wow. So that turned into more goals that I thought. It seems I have a lot to do.

So intentions are fine. And it's one thing to say you're going to do something, but it's another thing all together to actually plan and commit to doing it. So applying SMART goals is one way to overcome this.....(and it's part of the Challenge) so here we go.

The goal: Daily yoga practice to strengthen my core and get rid of that nagging back pain.
This is important because my nagging back pain gets in the way of a lot of my other goals, and it's one I've been working into slowly over the last 3 weeks.
S (pecific) - I will practice at least 2 of the exercises I have learned to stretch and strengthen my back and strengthen my core.
M (easurable) - Put a star on the calendar for everyday I practice to show if I'm meeting my goals.
A (chievable) - Yes. 2 exercises is not a lot. I can do it.
R (ealistic) - Either in the morning or before going to bed. I can find the time.
T (imely) - Starting February 1. I've been doing these at least weekly for all of January, so moving to a daily practice in February is something I need to do.

Ok. So I'll let you know how this goes, but at least I'm committed to my yoga. Oh, and the Tri for the Cure. I've already paid for that one.

And now that I'm writing again, I feel better, too. Putting thoughts on paper. Sharing what's going on in my brain. Sharing is hard....especially when you're trying to pretend like you're perfect. So writing this blog is part of being kind to myself....cutting myself some slack.

I have to remind myself that I'm stronger than I think. Goals are part of that. Fitness is part of that. So is finding the strength to be real with myself. Real is strong. Real is beautiful.

Till next time....